I’m the type of person that can only enjoy vacation for a certain length of time before I start itching to go back to work. When I am left with large amounts of time to “relax,” I get even more anxious sometimes. During vacation time, I don’t have a consistent wake up time or any kind of routine for that matter. For that reason, the uncertainty of how my days or weeks will pan out create even more anxiety in me. On the other hand, transitioning back to work after a vacation is just as bad sometimes because I have to transition into another routine. As you can probably guess, I have returned to work after a long vacation and I feel happy, but yet, kind of still wish my vacation hadn’t really ended.
I Love Work
As someone that suffers with anxiety, one thing I crave about work is routine. There is a set time to get to work and get off work. This gives my day a sense of direction and stability. As I have worked at my current workplace for quite a while, I find comfort in the familiarity with my coworkers’ personalities and work habits. Furthermore, I feel confident with most aspects of my job and my environment, so that also makes me less anxious. Overall, I think work makes me feel productive, and plus, I can help pay the bills, which just makes me feel happier overall.
I Just Want to go on Vacation
Returning to work after a vacation is always a struggle for me. Even though work routines are familiar to me, the change in pace always stresses me out a bit. Imagine waking up without a alarm for weeks and then suddenly jolting awake with the alarm again. With anxiety, even though, you feel pretty competent in your job, you often always focus on the worst possible outcome. I start thinking maybe I am not working hard enough. Maybe my boss doesn’t think I am doing my job well. Those insecurities return again when I go back to work. Furthermore, when you go back to work, you face more judgement as well from your coworkers. I know, to judge, is human, and I feel like I definitely care less what others think. However, does criticism still affect me? Of course. Lastly, I just feel more tired than usual and that is always a terrible thing when you also feel anxious.
Does anyone else have this conundrum? I love working, but yet sometimes I want to go back on vacation.