When Things Aren’t Going Your Way

I originally posted this on my beauty blog, but I thought it made perfect sense on this blog as well.  If you have read my previous posts, you might have learnt that I have not had a great time this year.   To make matters worse, the last week, I developed shingles around my eye area, which is the worst area to get it.  I am feeling better now, but I thought I would share some thoughts that have helped me get through some struggles in my life.

Believe me, I don’t know if I am the best person to come for advice.  However, sometimes, it just takes a nugget of a thought to change a person’s mindset.  Here are some little “nuggets” that have uplifted me a little even when the stars weren’t shining that brightly and, don’t worry,  it is not “be positive” (which is the phrase that most depressed people hate to hear).  I thought I would just share them, not that it might change anything, but hoping like me, it might just shift your thinking a little during a tough time.

This is Not Your Journey

No one wants to hear this.  Everyone has a journey that they envision themselves in and when it doesn’t happen the world seems to come tumbling down.  Next, the “Why Me?” and “What did I do to deserve this?” statements start rolling into your brain.  This year, I have been full of these questions.  However, this statement, “This is Not Your Journey,” from a fellow colleague has really helped me silence this inner dialogue.  No one knows what your journey will be like.  It might be painful, but it also might be way more amazing than you ever imagined.  Plus, only when this “Why Me?” journey ends, will it allow you to be open to the multitude of possibilities the world can offer you.  Don’t let this one journey you imagined bog you down.  There might be dreams that are waiting for you out there that you never even imagined.

Life is Precious

Please don’t vomit.  Gosh, I want to vomit.  Even though it sounds cheesy, gratitude will often help me get through a rough day.  Of course, not all the time.  I mean, gosh, that would be unattainable. Plus, you would be unable to do anything if you had to thank every piece of grass you walk pass. However, I remember walking outside after having a big cry, and thinking how nice it was having the wind blow across my face.  How nice that it wasn’t so sunny or I would curse myself for not wearing sunscreen.  Then, just laughing at the absurdity that I still cared about anti-aging at times like this. There are many things in the world that are worth living for and the only thing for certain is that you have right now to live it.  No one can guarantee what will happen in the future.

I want thank anyone who read this and I would love to hear any advice you have about getting through tough times.

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Living with Anxiety: The Journey

I didn’t want to put “relapse” or “bad turn” in the title because it seems so finite.  What if living with my anxiety was more like a part of a journey?  One that you continue to walk with an open heart and mind.  As I wrote in my previous blogpost, I have been experiencing a dip in my journey and have not written anything on my blog for a while.

It is so strange.  I find it really difficult to write about things that are currently happening to me.  It is only with some distance in time can I start to kind of “take-apart” and digest what has happened.  It is usually at that point,  I can start writing because it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.  It almost seems like it happened to someone else or a scene in a movie.

After the dip I talk about in my last blog post, I have decided to go back on medication.  It is so ironic that depression can be scary and endless yet familiar and predictable at the same time.  I knew the signs.  I was not heading down a good path.  Some of the feelings I had during my last depression began to appear.  I mean, each depression starts and reveals itself differently.  However, by the 3rd time, even though no depression episode is a carbon copy of each other, the feelings of losing control, emotional instability, and difficulty concentrating have become familiar.  I knew in a heart I wanted to get better.

More ironically, I have become familiar with side effects that come with starting the drug again.  I don’t want this depression to happen, but yet strangely, I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I know what the side effects feel like.  Life has some interesting twists and turns, doesn’t it?  Someone once told me that life might not turn out as you want, but this is your journey, the one you are supposed to follow.  No one knows what will happen next.  You never know.  A low might lead to one of the highest in your life so keep on walking and breathing.