As I discussed in my last blogpost, this video of Wentworth Miller’s Q & A session really had an impact on me. Through his words, you felt the depth of his suffering, but also the wisdom he has garnered from it. Many of his words allowed me to connect, reflect, and re-assess my own mental health journey. In the last blogpost, I talked about “being your own best friend,” and in this blogpost, I wanted to talk about his ideas of perfection.
In Wentworth’s session, he discussed his insecurities about doing a public speaking event. How he felt anxious about being perfect, his desire to please, and the pressure to speak beautifully. To silence these anxieties, he said that he constantly reminds himself that all of that doesn’t matter and that coming there that day in his state, was “perfect, flaws and all.” Perfection is a double-ended sword. It can push us to excellence, but looking for it can bring us down to our knees. Moreover, he talked about this need for balance in life and how it was like making small adjustments, like walking on a tightrope so you don’t fall off.
I felt like when I was listening to him that I was listening to a master’s lecture on living life with anxiety and depression. I, on the other hand, felt like an undergraduate student. I was amazed at how he was able to gather all his thoughts into these concise nuggets of wisdom. Furthermore, I kept on thinking “that was exactly what I’ve been thinking, but had no idea how to express.”
In my inner dialogue, that “tightrope” has been called the “grey area.” Over the years, I have discovered that it is always the best place to be and my own form of balance. Of course, I will always be a work in progress, but it has allowed me to realize that not everything has to be perfect. There is a lot of joy and sanity to be found in living the “B+” life. Will I still strive for perfection? Of course, but definitely not in everything I do. Furthermore, I have found that even if things don’t go perfectly, I often enjoy them just the same and others will have no idea that it wasn’t perfection. Plus, sometimes, you might even end up getting something more out of what you might deem as your so-called mistakes. Everything has it’s price, and I feel that seeking perfection in everything in your life is not worth it if it means compensating your mental and physical health.