Having to swallow an antidepressant everyday is figuratively and literally bitter some days. I never quite understood why they couldn’t make pills taste like gummy bears. It would seem more uplifting somehow, especially to a mental health patient. Instead, it tastes bitter like most pills, reminding you once again that you are sick.
For the most part, I accept that I have to take medication, maybe even forever for my anxiety and depression. The doctor explained it this way to me. A diabetes patient wouldn’t stop taking their medication, why would you? I get that. It is the explanation they use on mental illness patients to make them feel better. Medication can save our lives or at least make it more tolerable.
Sometimes, I can’t help it though. The sight of my purple pill case makes me sigh. Do I really have to continue taking these? I mean, I had gotten so used to them that I had forgotten that they were even working. In fact, I had gotten the days of the week pill case so I wouldn’t forget to take them in the morning. With a diabetes patient, it is obvious that you can’t stop taking the medication because you can lose your life. However, with a mental health patient, the chance of death is ultimately a choice, or is it? I guess, the answer is not crystal-clear. So I choose to stay on medication because it seems less scary then the other option.
Don’t worry, most days I am fine. I choose to stay on medication, and live my life as I want to for the most part. However, there are always days when I wish I didn’t have to. Anyone else feel this way?