14. Choose To Be Kind

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In my last blogpost, I talked about how I think it is more important to be kind than right. I wanted to expand on that idea is this blogpost. I find that as we get older, our viewpoints and personality become more distinct and solidified. For example, we know where we stand with certain issues and how far we can be pushed into a corner before we will say something. It is all a part of growing up and helps us feel more confident and well-adjusted as an adult. However, I find that as our opinions get stronger, sometimes our tolerance for other opinions lessens. We like being right. We want to feel good about ourselves and who we are. Sometimes, it is easy to dislike or criticize those that think differently from us without any consideration of someone’s feelings.

Over the years, I have learned that it is much better to seek to understand before you make judgement. Of course, everyone gets upset in the heat of the situation. However, if you try to step and look at a situation from afar, you’ll realize that it might not be as polarizing as you think. If you try to understand that person’s actions in light of their background and personality, you might be able to dial back your anger at least a little bit. Even if you don’t agree with them, you might at least be able to understand where their thinking might be coming from. I also find that many preconceptions are easily cleared up through communication and understanding. I know there will be times where being kind won’t work, and that is ok, because we are all human. However, I find that choosing to be kind, not only often helps a difficult situation, but also makes me happier too because it creates more harmony around me.

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13. Gossiping at Work

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This week, I ended up having lunch with some coworkers that I have known for a few years. I mean, we are not close friends or anything, but we have gotten to know each other over the years. I know how many kids they have, what they like to eat, and their personalities. However, it is only when you get to talk to them privately that your learn about their truer self. So I was sitting with them having lunch and chatting and they started talking about other coworkers. They were complaining about how one coworker always got her way. I sat there just listening and thinking about how I felt about people who gossiped about others at work. Does it make me think less of them as a coworker? Are they trustworthy? Are they just venting? Is it alright if it is not malicious gossip?

I try to not to gossip at work because I feel that it disrupts harmony in the workplace. However, my husband will tell me that I am living in a cloud because gossip runs a workplace. I guess, we are all human, and we can’t help gossiping sometimes. Perhaps, it is not gossip sometimes, maybe we are just logically dissecting a situation with zero emotions involved. Yeah, right? I know. The reason I am so into this topic is because I can’t figure out why I like people less if they gossip a lot at work. Maybe it is because I don’t like the thought of people spreading rumours behind someone’s back. I figure if you really have beef with someone, you should just talk to them. Obviously, I understand that is easier said than done. Plus, there are obvious benefits to gossiping like figuring out which people are more similar to you, and staying in the loop with work coming and goings.

I think ultimately how much someone gossips lets you understand them a little better. Maybe they gossip negatively about others to make themselves feel better. I have no idea what their background is to just simply judge them base on this one action. For whatever reason, instead of thinking of them negatively, maybe I should l think it allows me to understand what makes tick, what they expect from a coworker, and how they choose to operate as a person. Most importantly, it always better to be kind then right.